LadyLeader Retreat Blog

Who cares?

Are you hanging above a deep river by an almost invisible thread? 

Perhaps you've leapt off the solid ground of taking care of yourself well because you have a 'to do list' that is never-ending, family responsibilities, learning you want to focus on, no time to do a proper healthy shopping, no time to eat a proper healthy meal and the furthest walk you take is from the front door to the car? 

The person in the picture is leaping off safe ground too, with heart racing fear, increasing pulse, queasy tummy and a thought or too about how mad this is!

But for them it will all be over in 2 minutes - they won't live in that high response fearful state for most of their life!  

Are you hanging above a deep river by an almost invisible thread? Do you know why you're doing it?  Decide today to get back on the solid ground of self care - and if you're struggling to to it on your own, find someone who can help you.

Take the first step today, even if it's a tiny one...  Who cares?  You do.

Stress is an ignorant state!

The complete quote is "Stress is an ignorant state... it believes that everything is an emergency."

When you think about the sea I wonder what you see in your minds eye.  Is it azure blue waves gently lapping onto a sandy beach, or perhaps it's wild grey seas pounding against rocks.  A look at this picture reminds us that even with all its potential for movement, activity and power the sea can also be like a millpond.

It is well researched that continually being in a state of 'emergency' is damaging to our health.  Our bodies are not designed to be in a perpetual state of high alert and although we seem to be quite skilled at putting it on high alert, we are less skilled at taking the time required for it to recover from that state and simply be in a state of peace, tranquility and rest.

However, we are often ready with a list of one hundred reasons as to why it's just not possible to take that 'downtime' just for me right now!  And sadly, when we do get the chance to stop, we're too wound up to enjoy stopping and fret instead about all we could be doing...the momentum of the volume of ongoing pressure preventing us from stopping and just being.

So here are a few tips:

• 1.Plan the downtime
• 2. Make it regular
• 3. Ensure it is for a period long enough to slow down and stop
• 4. Do it because you want to enjoy long life and good health NOW

REMEMBER - even the sea has it's downtime!

What to do to stop...

When life is happening at a pace which makes it hard if not impossible to stop and simply relax what do you do?  One of the great touchstones over the last few weeks, and there have been many of them, has been my tai chi class.  I can say that without exception on a Monday night after my tai chi class I have slept like a baby!!

For me it is something about the physical movement, the total concentration that has to go into getting the various body parts in the right place, whilst at the same time remembering to breathe!  As a novice, I have found it to be totally absorbing in a most relaxing way.  I have enjoyed the peace and calmness, the stretching, the cameraderie, the small signs of progress...

It's interesting that at other times I have been on a swing between normal concentration levels and high performance and at the other end of the swing I've been struggling to keep motivated and just get things done.  Stress has many effects on our body, mind and 'spirit' when we are faced with life threatening or life changing circumstances.  It's important to remember that our bodies are not designed to stay in a stressed state over extended periods - so find something completely absorbing that leaves you with no alternative but to switch out of the stress state.  Even one hour a week will have it's benefits.  When did you last sleep like a baby - if you can't remember maybe it's time to find a tai chi teacher!

All work no play - or playful work?

I wonder what your work/play ratio is.  Take a moment and think about the amount of time your are thinking about work, doing work, in work mode, and compare it with the time you are thinking about play, playing and in play mode.  And write it down as a ratio.  What do you see?  How do you feel about the ratio?  Are you happy with it or would you like to change it?

I was reminded on Friday afternoon of something I had written down a few months ago.  How would you behave if your were Donald Duck?  And remember, "the playful state is available".  In other words I can choose my 'state' and I can choose how I respond to my day and my 'to do' list!  What an empowering thought.

So this morning... the playful state is available.  How will your day be different if you choose to approach it in a playful state?  As for me I'm off to do my end of year accounts...playfully!

Stress - give it away!

Today is the last day of our focus on stress reduction.  Over the week I hope you've enjoyed the ideas and tips and have given yourself quality time, space, reflection, planning and thinking.

So what have we kept for tip number five.  The picture above is a single beautiful flower but it is full of the potential needed to generate seeds for more plants and over time could populate a whole field of beauty.

Today we're keeping it simple.  Make giving a life art!  Quietly, spontaneously and creatively give something back.  Take pleasure in giving your time, your money, your effort, your energy, your sense of fun, some flowers, some chocolates, an anonymous gift, a card or a letter, or a significant donation to a cause or charity you think could benefit from your gift.  Before the end of the day take time to give something away and you may find that the joy and satisfaction is a great stress reducer.  Taking the time to focus on something or someone else can often put our stresses into perspective.

So write down on a piece of paper right now what you are going to give away before the end of the day... and plant the first seed that could grow to become the first flower in your field.  Then make giving a life art and turn your plant into a fantastic field of flowers.  And just watch your stress level drop.

 

Stress - Tip 4 Plan your Play

 

Welcome to our fourth blog this week looking at tips and ideas to keep stress at a healthy level.  Our tip today is really simple Plan your Play.

I wonder how much time you spend planning your work tasks whether that's strategic planning at an organisational level, or personal planning of priorities and important tasks.  It's a good habit and helps us to be clear about our goals and measure how near we are to completing them.

But how much time do you spend planning your leisure time, your fun time and your play time?  Or are you so wiped out with all the demands of work and family life that all you have energy for is to crash out in front of the TV?  And ironically rather than feeling refreshed this kind of leisure leaves you feeling even more jaded.   

So how about taking time to Plan your Play.  As children we are much more spontaneous in grasping opportunities for play, but somehow as we become adults our play has to be sophisticated, and before long if we're not careful it gets squeezed out with all the other demands we and others make on our time and energy. 

Our LadyLeader Retreats are our contribution to making it easy for busy women to Plan some Play.  Book one and see what you have been missing up until now. Find out more by emailing me at martha@marthasimpsoncoaching.co.uk.  BUT, don't wait till then, Plan some Play into your diary and give it priority for the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is our final blog for the week - Don't miss it!  You might find an unusual idea for reducing your stress level.

Stress Awareness Day - paper and pen for stress relief!

Well, if you've been following our LadyLeader Blog all week you've already found two ways of turning down the stress level. So today, get yourself some pen and paper and learn three ways of using these simple tools to your advantage.

We'll start with the obvious way which is writing down a list of the things you have to do in the next two weeks.  'To do' lists can be both supportive and stress creating as you panic at the number of items on the list.  In order to be supportive, lists need two further actions.  The first action is to prioritise them - and it really is the priority action.  And once that has been done, decide and write down a realistic time value beside your top 6 items.  So how long will each of the top 6 take you?  You can forget the others for the moment because you know the top 6 are the top 6!  Then diary, or set about doing them!

Another useful thing to do with a pen and paper is to sit down and write down all the stuff that's bothering you about a challenge or problem you are facing.  Once you've written it all down, scrunch it up and bin/shred it.  And then your mind is clear of the clutter and ready to take action.

And useful tip 3 is to write a list of all the things that you have been putting up with for ages!!  Eg.the dripping tap, the squeaky door, the past their best clothes, etc.  The list might include small things and significant things.   Asterisk the first 5 you want to tackle - and set a date for starting each one.  Make sure you keep this appointment with yourself and free yourself from the energy drain of them buzzing around in your head or annoying you everytime you think of them!

How else can you use pen and paper to support your well-being?  Let us have your comments for sharing.

There are many other ways in which you can use a pen and paper to alleviate your stress but now you've got at least three to practice.  So have fun, and click back tomorrow for our next blog.

Stress - Get moving!

Following on from yesterday's blog - we're continuing this week to think about nurturing well-being and limiting the impact of negative stress.

How many footprints can you count in this picture?

OK - here's an easier question.  How many days is it since you simply went for a walk for 10 minutes with no obvious destination?  I don't mean to the shops, the school, the office, the sandwich shop...  I mean just went for a walk for the fun of it - brisk or slow, you choose.

The benefits of walking are well recorded.  Just google walking benefits and you'll see what I mean!  The list of health benefits goes on and on.  It is also well recorded that the benefits of even limited exercise impacts positively on our mental well-being too.  So today come rain, hail or even snow promise yourself 10 minutes of walking free from mobile phones and just enjoy the experience.

So you had your beautiful peaceful moments yesterday - today our tip is to get your outdoor shoes on (and whatever additional layers you need depending on where you are reading this) and take a walk for at least 10 minutes.

 

Stress - Beat it this week with our top tips!

This Wednesday is National Stress Awareness Day so every day this week our blog will offer an idea or tip to help you achieve some stress free moments and reduce your stress overload.

However, we also know that a certain amount of stress is required for optimum performance - the  trick as always is Balance!

So today our tip revolves around having a sense of place and in particular a place which you associate with peace, calm and serenity.

This picture captures one of my favourite places, and fortunately for me is only a few miles from where I live.  It's somewhere I go to walk and get space - and was the beach I walked on recovery from a debilitating illness some years ago.  I can smell the sea, and hear the waves even sitting here at my computer.  I can visualise my little dog tearing over the dunes enjoying the freedom and exhilaration of chasing nothing more than sand!  Just thinking about it fills me with joy, peace and a sense of space and order.

I can think of a number of places which I return to again and again at different significant moments.

I also have a place of peace, space and wellbeing in my home.  It's called my bath - and armed with aromatherapy oils, and a good book or not as the case me be, it is a place of refreshment and rejuvenation.  It has nothing to do with it's original purpose - cleanliness!

Even at work (whatever that means for you) it is possible to take a few minutes of space and get to that place of peace in your imagination!  The trick will be in returning to the same place again and again so you build up an association of peace, stillness, or whatever you associate that place with.  You could just sit quietly and breathe (always important!) and think about this place, or you could find a visualisation which takes you to a quiet beach, or peaceful wood, and take five minutes every day to read it and get yourself to that place!

So our tip for today is: Develop a place of peace and go there regularly!

If you would like a visualisation to get you started email me at martha@marthasimpsoncoaching.co.uk.

Have a peaceful moment some time today.  Identify a space which can symbolize for you - peace and space from the demands of your work