LadyLeader Retreat Blog

What's stopping you?

This little girl is exploring on a beach which must seem truly huge for her.  She pauses momentarily, before deciding if she will run on to see what she can find, wait for the adults to catch up, or turn and flee back to mummy.

As she waits there we could ask her:

What's stopping you?

What are you afraid of?

What may happen if you go exploring?

It's the classic fright, flight, or freeze response which has to be overcome in order for her to move forward.  And it's often related to our limiting beliefs - we've usually strayed from confidentally believing "I can handle this"!

As I came back in the train yesterday, from a fantastic day with my LadyLeader Retreat colleague Jo, I was working on a goal which had me asking myself the question - "What's stopping you?"  "What resources do I need to take this step?"

These are great questions and I challenge you to ask yourself today "What's stopping you from doing something you truly want to do?"  "What resources do you need to take this step?"

Our next LadyLeader Retreat will be looking specifically at the theme of procrastination.  What's stopping you from coming?  What resources do you need to take this step.

Hope to see you there!

By the way, she fearlessly ran on to explore the great long beach with all it's opportunities for finding new exciting things!

More tiger tales - the full story

This picture was taken by me 10 days ago. It was taken with a standard lens; I was about 8 inches away from the tiger; there was no wire mesh between us; it was walking right across my line of vision and as you can see was completely ignoring me.  And yes it is very much alive!!!

So what am I not telling you?  All that came between me and this amazing animal was a piece of clear but toughened (I hope!) glass.

This simple addition to the story completes the context and gave me the assurance I needed to enjoy this dangerous cat; gave the tiger the signal that I was not up for grabs, and assures you that I have not gone walking with tigers.  Although I do have a friend who did just that in a monastery in Thailand, where the tigers have been hand reared and have never known threat from humans.  How amazing!

So, what stories are you telling yourself about your capabilities and your confidence.  And what part of the story are you leaving out...  Our beliefs are those things we hold to be true, and take for granted.  They are the scripts with which we run our lives.  If your beliefs about yourself are holding you back... invest in yourself and work with a coach who can help you to complete the story as you want it to be!

Bloom where you are

A number of years ago I was privileged to live in Anstruther, an East Coast fishing village in the East Neuk of Fife.  When we arrived, we were delighted that the garden (with it's sea wall) had been planted out with vegetables and potatoes and we were welcomed by the words: "This is the only garden where you can grow your potatoes ready salted."  Bill had taken the time and made the effort to fill the garden, and in spite of the elements we did indeed enjoy the potatoes before the winter storms dumped some seaweed over the garden wall!

But interestlingly this photograph reminded me of Bill's wife Jessie.  One of her frequent sayings was "Bloom where you are."  This was not, as some would think, a fatalistic acceptance of life as it was, but in fact was the evidence of an adventurous and positive spirit that was determined to bloom and scatter joy and happiness wherever she was and whatever was happening.

The flowers in the photograph have obviously overcome the lack of nutrients in the soil resulting from the large old tree and its constant demand for water and feeding, but somehow they have just got on with being the best they can be right where they are, adjusting to the feeding and shade and perhaps even benefiting as a result.  So get blooming today, regardless of the environment in which you find yourself.  Choose to bloom where you are with confidence, and spread some joy and happiness as you go.

Inspiring women - Women Entrepreneurs Day

I have worked over the years with a number of women focussed organisations and women led organisations.  I have also worked with women leaders in a variety of sectors.

One of the things to be celebrated over this period has been the shift from women leaders as 'men in skirts' to women leaders who are comfortable and confident with a feminine leadership style.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the large numbers of women who are leaving employment to set up their own businesses.  You just need to look at the number of women's networking opportunities and websites to see how this is mushrooming.

So, who are the women who have inspired you to be what you are?  And what particular women are your role models for the business your are running, or the role you aspire to?

I spent 10 years in Home-Start - an organisatsion which supports families with young children.  There I met many women who inspired me, whether they were mums striving to be resourceful for their children, volunteers offering time and a listening ear to stressed parents, staff who were juggling their own lives with the demands of a busy and demanding role.  Many of them inspired me.

I also think of my own mother who spent a large part of her adult life coping with the demons of a significant and recurring mental health problem that robbed her of her functional ability, yet in her periods of wellness she strived (and managed) to add care and affection to those with whom she came into contact.

Then there are of course women in the public eye who have inpired me.  Women like Mother Theresa, Tanni Grey-Thompson, and many more.

So what about women entrepreneurs??  Who are the women entrepreneurs who inspire you?  What inspires you about them? And if you could be inspiring other women entrepreneurs how would you be doing it?

Look forward to your comments.  Go on, click on the comments link and share your views.

Small Business Week

Small businesses start from small beginnings.  The little person in this picture has something that all small business owners need in plenty.  Confidence and self belief!  Confidence to take off down the path not knowing exactly how it will turn out, confidence to take decisions which will have consequences, confidence to persuade others that what they are selling (whether that's a product or a service) adds value, and self belief that one day their small business will be successful.

Henry Ford is reputed to have said "If you believe you can or can't - you are right!"  So what we believe about ourselves and our business impacts greatly on our behaviour, our actions, and ultimately our success.

So this morning - on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being absolute confidence where do you rate yourself on the confidence scale?  And what would it take to move it up a point?

Take a few minutes right now to right down three things you are good at or three personal strengths that you have to bring to your business success.  And every day this week add another three - different ones.  By the end of the week you will have 15 reasons to be confident and believe that your business success is in capable hands. 

And if you want to spend two days developing 'the confident you', book yourself onto one of our LadyLeader Retreats. 

So today go out there and grow your business with confidence and self belief!  Tomorrow come back for a blog on how to build support systems for your business.

Confidence and the wisdom of Dr. Seuss

Sometimes you find great advice when you are least looking for it.  And sometimes you find it in unexpected places.  So how's this for great advice from the children's author Dr. Seuss?

"You have brains in your head...

You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose!" 

So what is it you'd like to do today if there were no consequences?  Perhaps it's something fanciful... or something wild and carefree... or something that you've been longing to do for a while...

Of course there are consequences to actions.  Somewhere in our far away memories may be a voice saying "To each and every action there is an opposite and equal reaction".

So let's change the question.  What is it you'd do today if you had enough confidence?  What's stopping you? And what resources do you need to get rid of that obstacle?  As a coach these are just two questions that can help a client get to the core of a limiting belief.  And perhaps once you have worked your way through the obstacles you will be able to take the advice of Dr Seuss and "engage the brains in your head, the feet in your shoes, and steer yourself in the direction you choose." 

Have fun on the journey...

PLEASE REMEMBER - THIS IS A MOVING CLASSROOM

I saw the above caption on a Driving School vehicle earlier this week.   I'm sure to the young driver behind the wheel the message on the roof of the vehicle is a reminder to other drivers that she may not be fully in control of the vehicle, or may not quite get the reverse park right first time!  But lesson by lesson, with practise and encouragement she will soon be heading for her test and a full license.  Her confidence-ometer may go full circle from 0 (I can't drive) to 5 (I'm beginning to get this) to 9 (I'm ready for my test) to 10 (I've passed!) to 6 (Am I really going to drive with no one in the passenger seat??)

So where is our sledging toddler (or her mum) on the confidence-ometor?  I guess if the toddler on this sledge could speak she may well be thinking "Wow, this is fun and mum's in charge so it will be OK!"  Oblivious to any possible danger and totally secure in the knowledge that adults are in charge - Confidence-ometor hitting 10 everytime.

Confidence is a topic explored in a lot of my work in coaching clients.  The great thing about confidence is that if we can remember far enough back in our childhood, there will be a time when we were totally confident.  Confidence is something we can loose along the journey of life - but the good news is that with practise and encouragement we can regain our confidence in ourselves and our ability to be what we want to be.

Because after all, when it boils down to it we are all a moving classroom!

CONFIDENCE TO ACT

Confidence is a common topic that comes up in coaching.  "I'm not a confident person" or "I couldn't do that" are two examples of limiting beliefs - those beliefs that can prevent someone from acting with confidence.  Sometimes there is also the evident gap between role confidence (everyone else perceives me as confident) and self-confidence (how I FEEL)!

This week I thoroughly enjoyed going to A Chorus Line at the Arts Centre.  It was a fantastic production - and I'm sure this viewpoint is not influenced by the fact that my daughter was playing a lead part!  The part where Paul was revisiting his journey of self acceptance was particularly poignant - and reminded me of how many experiences and factors have to be negotiated if we are going to retain robust self confidence and be truly accepting of who we are.

What nurtures your confidence?  And what drains it?  I'm sure the cast of a Chorus Line have had their moments of self-doubt.  Will we be ready in time?  Will I remember my lines?  Will I ever get that dance routine right? But through practice, determination, encouragement and grit - the show was a great success.

So some lessons from a Chorus Line: 

• Accept yourself - you are an original
• Practise until you feel confident
• Be determined - but kind to yourself
• Seek out encouragers - radiators are better than drains anyday when it comes to building confidence
• And just do it!

This is not a rehearsal...