LadyLeader Retreat Blog

Procrastination or Purposeful Living

Stepping onto the balcony is one of the clever ways of looking at something from another perspective.  Often used in conflict resolution, it goes like this.  Take a walk up onto an imaginary balcony and look at what you could see if you were standing on the balcony watching yourself in this situation.

It's a technique we can also use to take a look at our lives - that is, the big picture of our lives rather than a particular incident or situation.

This picture was taken in Madeira and, because of it's height, reminds me that the higher you go the more you can see.  Height always offers a different perspective; one of the reasons why I love to walk in the Scottish hills.

So, in your imagination take a walk up a high hill and have a look down on your life.  From that perspective ask yourself "What is the purpose of my life?"  Or if that's too big a question for you, "What is the purpose of this activity?"  Are you doing what you really want to do, or just filling time?

Sometimes we find we're just doing things because they're there.  One of the things I learned a few years back was that in metaphorical terms "I don't need to climb the mountain just because it is there!"  However, taking a walk onto the balcony of our lives and having a look at what we're doing is always worthwhile... especially if it helps us to prioritise what matters in life, and what the purpose of our activity is.  When we are clear about our purpose, procrastination will take a hit, because we will be acting from a sense of who we really are.

Are you doing what you love?

  
When was the last time you sprung out of bed enthusiastically looking forward to the day ahead?  If it was this morning, then you may have found the secret to doing what you love.  For many people, however, the work they do does not always fulfil their dreams or ambitions and they have to find other outlets for their passions or interests.   One of the easiest ways to find out which areas of your life need focus and attention is to complete a "Wheel of Life".  This allows you to identify which are the priority areas in your life and rate your satisfaction against each area.   I use this technique with clients and it's amazing that individuals often undertake coaching to focus on something they feel they "should" address, only to find that the issue that's making them unhappy is in a completely different area of their life. 

A great question to ask yourself is "what will making this change allow me to do?" and then ask "what won't this change allow me to do?".  I often hear people saying that they'll do something about their life when they've lost weight, finished a particular project, saved enough money, when their dependents are older and so on.... Sounds familiar? 

I love this quote by Doug Firebaugh (trainer, speaker, author).

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow".

Making changes isn't always about big, dramatic gestures.  Often it's the smaller actions that you work on every day that can have a major impact.  So go on, why not take that first step today!

By Jo Adams

Who cares?

Are you hanging above a deep river by an almost invisible thread? 

Perhaps you've leapt off the solid ground of taking care of yourself well because you have a 'to do list' that is never-ending, family responsibilities, learning you want to focus on, no time to do a proper healthy shopping, no time to eat a proper healthy meal and the furthest walk you take is from the front door to the car? 

The person in the picture is leaping off safe ground too, with heart racing fear, increasing pulse, queasy tummy and a thought or too about how mad this is!

But for them it will all be over in 2 minutes - they won't live in that high response fearful state for most of their life!  

Are you hanging above a deep river by an almost invisible thread? Do you know why you're doing it?  Decide today to get back on the solid ground of self care - and if you're struggling to to it on your own, find someone who can help you.

Take the first step today, even if it's a tiny one...  Who cares?  You do.

Me time - a luxury or a necessity in business?

Today’s blog is going to be brief - and that’s because I’m working on my priorities.  So when I’ve posted this I’m going to go out for a walk with my dogs, pick up my daughter and then we’re going to cook dinner together.  No  - I’m not finishing off that last minute project, or e-mailing 200 contacts, or completing my marketing homework.  Those are all important tasks which need to be done and I’ve scheduled time to do them.  But right now I’m looking after the number one priority which is me.  Sounds indulgent?  Well, when I look at my business I ask myself - what is my most valuable and expensive asset and of course the answer is me.  If I’m not totally present or developing the best possible outcomes for my clients then I don’t think I’m doing my job properly.  The only way I can do that is to ensure I have sufficient down time (see last week’s blog by Martha).  By investing a few hours a week in myself, I can ensure I’m energised, clear headed and focused and doing what I love best - helping others to be their best too!  So make sure when you look at your list of priorities - YOU feature somewhere and preferably at the top.

By Jo Adams

 

Stress is an ignorant state!

The complete quote is "Stress is an ignorant state... it believes that everything is an emergency."

When you think about the sea I wonder what you see in your minds eye.  Is it azure blue waves gently lapping onto a sandy beach, or perhaps it's wild grey seas pounding against rocks.  A look at this picture reminds us that even with all its potential for movement, activity and power the sea can also be like a millpond.

It is well researched that continually being in a state of 'emergency' is damaging to our health.  Our bodies are not designed to be in a perpetual state of high alert and although we seem to be quite skilled at putting it on high alert, we are less skilled at taking the time required for it to recover from that state and simply be in a state of peace, tranquility and rest.

However, we are often ready with a list of one hundred reasons as to why it's just not possible to take that 'downtime' just for me right now!  And sadly, when we do get the chance to stop, we're too wound up to enjoy stopping and fret instead about all we could be doing...the momentum of the volume of ongoing pressure preventing us from stopping and just being.

So here are a few tips:

• 1.Plan the downtime
• 2. Make it regular
• 3. Ensure it is for a period long enough to slow down and stop
• 4. Do it because you want to enjoy long life and good health NOW

REMEMBER - even the sea has it's downtime!

Balance - is it just a state of mind?

Last year, I was lucky enough to spend some  time  in Nepal.  It was a fantastic opportunity to visit a beautiful country but one of the added benefits was that I had to leave all the trappings of my life behind.  We had one common goal, minimal luggage and the benefit of these Yaks to carry our "house and home" to each camp.  Getting balance in your life doesn't always need such drastic action but if you sometimes feel like this Yak and another addition to your To Do List will be one too many, then it may be time to take some action and restore some balance.

One of the best ways to do this is to ensure that you have a clear idea on your priorities and goals.  If you have anything on your To Do list which doesn't take you a step closer to achieving these then it may need to move down the priority list.

Of couse, you may be prone to procrastination.  Putting all the "small" tasks ahead of the "important"  tasks.  For the last week I've been practicing positive procrastination - identifying my priorities and working on them first, putting the less important tasks lower down my To Do list. 

And the result - well yes, the house is a bit more untidy - but I've still found time to do all the necessary  chores.  But more importantly, I've been working on my goals and not only am I a step closer to achieving them, but I feel a sense of freedom - a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I feel less like this Yak and have even started thinking about a new adventure for next year!

By Jo Adams

Manage your time with a kitchen timer!

At our forthcoming LadyLeader Retreat in November we're going to be giving you some great tips and tools to break procrastination for ever!!!

I wonder if your 'to do' list sometimes gets like mine.  It's great for letting you know what you have to do - but what to do first, how long to give each item, what to leave for another day... where to start!!!!!?

This week I've been slicing and dicing my tasks into 10 or 20 minute blocks and setting my timer to remind me when that time is up and I want to move onto the next task.  The result - focus, determination to beat the clock (!), and a huge amount of work completed - all so I can work four days this week instead of five and have a wonderful long weekend.

So if you've got a long and ever-growing to do list, with a number of items on it you're putting off, go buy yourself a kitchen timer and book on our next LadyLeader Retreat!

Ooops - my timer just went so I'm heading for my next task.

Missed deadlines

I love red in a photograph.  I have a particular fascination for red telephone boxes and red letterboxes in remote places.  As someone who loves nothing more than to put the boots on, take the dog and get out in the fresh air, this photograph reminds me that it's hard to get away from deadlines.  The post van is coming along the road at an allotted time, to check the letterbox.  The time in bold black is the deadline beyond which mail will have to wait for another time.

This deadline is determined by Royal Mail.  Of course, we all have deadlines which are imposed, but it's often more interesting to consider the deadlines we set for ourselves.  Limits and Boundaries which we impose in order to persuade ourselves to get something done, or a promise we make to ourselves about a future reward.  A holiday perhaps, a meal out or a bunch of flowers.

What deadlines do you set for yourself?

It's my experience that many women (and you may be one of them) are very clear about this first kind of deadline, be that work or family, but not so motivated by a dealine by which they will bring reward.  We NEED to get the washing done, the shopping done, the homework done, the end of month report done, the emails checked... and so it goes on.

So here's the challenge.  Set yourself a positive motivating rewarding deadline - yes I mean right now.  No don't read on - write down the positive motivating rewarding deadline you are setting for yourself, and write down the first step you will take to make sure you meet this deadline.  And write down the date on which you will take this first step.

And if you're stuck for ideas why don't you come on our next LadyLeader Retreat - 18/19th November at the lovely Ardoe House Hotel.  Details available at the top right hand side of this page.

Would love to hear your comments on the positive deadlines you set for yourself - and make sure you don't miss the deadline!

What's stopping you?

This little girl is exploring on a beach which must seem truly huge for her.  She pauses momentarily, before deciding if she will run on to see what she can find, wait for the adults to catch up, or turn and flee back to mummy.

As she waits there we could ask her:

What's stopping you?

What are you afraid of?

What may happen if you go exploring?

It's the classic fright, flight, or freeze response which has to be overcome in order for her to move forward.  And it's often related to our limiting beliefs - we've usually strayed from confidentally believing "I can handle this"!

As I came back in the train yesterday, from a fantastic day with my LadyLeader Retreat colleague Jo, I was working on a goal which had me asking myself the question - "What's stopping you?"  "What resources do I need to take this step?"

These are great questions and I challenge you to ask yourself today "What's stopping you from doing something you truly want to do?"  "What resources do you need to take this step?"

Our next LadyLeader Retreat will be looking specifically at the theme of procrastination.  What's stopping you from coming?  What resources do you need to take this step.

Hope to see you there!

By the way, she fearlessly ran on to explore the great long beach with all it's opportunities for finding new exciting things!

What to do to stop...

When life is happening at a pace which makes it hard if not impossible to stop and simply relax what do you do?  One of the great touchstones over the last few weeks, and there have been many of them, has been my tai chi class.  I can say that without exception on a Monday night after my tai chi class I have slept like a baby!!

For me it is something about the physical movement, the total concentration that has to go into getting the various body parts in the right place, whilst at the same time remembering to breathe!  As a novice, I have found it to be totally absorbing in a most relaxing way.  I have enjoyed the peace and calmness, the stretching, the cameraderie, the small signs of progress...

It's interesting that at other times I have been on a swing between normal concentration levels and high performance and at the other end of the swing I've been struggling to keep motivated and just get things done.  Stress has many effects on our body, mind and 'spirit' when we are faced with life threatening or life changing circumstances.  It's important to remember that our bodies are not designed to stay in a stressed state over extended periods - so find something completely absorbing that leaves you with no alternative but to switch out of the stress state.  Even one hour a week will have it's benefits.  When did you last sleep like a baby - if you can't remember maybe it's time to find a tai chi teacher!